Helping my best friend die…

a Dancing on the Bridge 3Helping my best friend die was perhaps the most profound experience of my life.

A few weeks ago I spent an extraordinary two-day intensive with my very closest friend –  who happened to be dying.

We explored the themes, challenges, and triumphs of her life until big patterns were revealed. It was profound and revelatory and what we discovered together thrilled and surprised us both. 

We decided to call this process “Dancing on the Bridge: Making Meaning at the End of Life.” 

At the end of our work together, my friend declared: “Now I know the meaning of my incarnation. I did it! I feel like I did what I came here to do!”

This is a woman who all her life had crippling self-doubt about not having “accomplished enough” by conventional standards. Although highly creative and multi-talented, she never went “all the way” in any one direction. She never got the acknowledgement of becoming “official” in any of the ways she excelled. 

When we saw the underlying patterns, they had to do with her genius for appreciation, her sense of delight andecstatic pleasure in the uniqueness of each thing and each human being, a vast love and compassion for all people and cultures, and a desire to heal the split between spirit and body. 

We discovered that by her soul’s standards, she embodied precisely, brilliantly, and exuberantly the magic of what she came to stand for in this world. In fact, this was evident to all who knew her. Yet it took her till the end of her life to become fully at peace with who she was and her amazing gifts.

The good news is: we don’t have to wait till the end of our life to do this life-changing work. We can look deep into our souls while we still (probably) have plenty of time left to enjoy what we discover. 

I do think this work is appropriate for a mature, ripened human, who has had time to cook and simmer for a while. It takes an open mind and deep heart and I dare say a highly perceptive and skillful companion/guide .

Two weeks to the day after my friend and I did this deep exploration she departed this world, sooner than expected. Three days after that I found myself at the lectern of a cathedral church, addressing hundreds of friends, family and acquaintances gathered to honor this magnificent being who had such an impact on all who knew her.

It was my honor to bear witness to her unique essence, and especially to what was revealed in our last time together – and how it had brought her a sense of completion and deep acceptance. Many people thanked me for my words and for the role I was able to play in bringing her that final satisfaction of knowing who she was.

This entire experience has been one of the most profound, powerful, and humbling of my life.

It has also inspired me to want to offer a similar service as part of my work.

If this speaks to you, and you’d like to explore what’s possible, please get in touch. I know the human soul is infinite in its radiance and wants to be known.

aaDancing Flowers (1)

 Seriously – if you would like to explore what a Journey into the Meaning of Your LIfe would be like, let’s talk – no obligation, my pleasure. Just comment below and I’ll be in touch.





Helping my best friend die… — 2 Comments

    • Thank you so much, Rachel. This was, indeed, a most profound and powerful experience for both of us and continues to affect me. As a result, I’ve become committed to exploring the way Story is at the root of our life experience. It’s very beautiful to see through this lens. Blessings to you. 🙂

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