How does compassion heal?


One of my ongoing clients recently complained “I still think I’m that little kid!”

What she meant was, she had trouble not believing that was still who she is, even though in our sessions she could see the bigger picture. (This client’s issues make her process gradual.)

I explained to her how our consciousness is a shape-shifter.

It believes itself to be whatever part of self is up at the moment – and it always calls that part ‘I’ or ‘me’ because we don’t have another word for it.
Like most of us, you probably tend to say “I am X” or “I feel  Y .”  (Try saying “a part of me feels ___” instead of “I feel ___” and see what difference that makes.)

I get caught in this too. On days when I feel great I may think “I can do anything!” And on days when my energy is low I may believe “I just don’t have what it takes.” We make temporary conditions seem permanent because our consciousness believes itself to be whichever part is currently in the driver’s seat.

This is called identification.

We take on that identity. And, as you know, we have many possible identities, many inner parts, many sub-personalities – choose your term. They have been conditioned in us since childhood and we keep a closet full of different outfits we put on, different roles we play, different self-images we believe ourselves to be. One minute we’re up, the next we’re down, depending on what someone says to us and what that triggers in us.

You see, the self appears as a multi-faceted package.

Each part of us has its own story, its own beliefs, its own feelings, its own behaviors, its own energy. That’s why we can feel like different  people at different times. And we’re not crazy – everyone does this!

Our negative identities hold special power over us – the ones that make us feel bad, sad, unworthy, less-than. These get imprinted early and have a way of resurfacing throughout our lives, even when we think we’ve healed them for good (have you noticed?).

But there’s good news too!

In addition to  our familiar ego-structures – the wounded parts and protective parts that show up in different ways – we also have a True Self, a Big Self, a self more anchored in who we really are as spiritual beings.

It is by bringing these two together that we can heal.

So when my client said “I still think I’m that little kid” she meant, she was caught in that old identity again. It was so convincing that she had trouble separating from it and she let it pull her down into the quicksand of negative emotions, beliefs, and conclusions about herself and life. She kept forgetting who she truly is – and then she blamed herself for that too.

Do you ever do this?

In Compassion Key we have a great method for dealing with these inner structures and actually giving them what they need, so they can transform permanently.

it’s called the Figure Eight, where you sit as the Big You (with your Higher Self’s support) and connect to that wounded part across from you. And you and your higher self together send it love and compassion.

It sounds simple but it’s way deeper and more powerful than I ever expected, reaching back into past-life karma as well as this-life pain and trauma.

In fact, I am continually blown away witnessing the transformations in my clients that come from this simple interaction. (One which I facilitate with a flow of compassion statements that the client repeats.)

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So I told her:
This is a great opportunity to practice the art of dis-identification, remembering to put that part in the opposite loop of the figure eight and looking at her from a distance, witnessing her pain, sending her love and compassion, asking her what she needs. And, above all, inviting in your higher self and angels to surround her and you.

We all have to learn to do this, it’s not easy for anyone, not for me either.

A friend once said “Healing is when the part of us that most needs love and the part of us that IS love touch and meet.”

Our job is to HOLD BOTH of these parts in our consciousness at the same time, rather than going back and forth like a ping-pong ball from ‘being’ one to ‘being’ the other. Expanding into the holy divine compassionate loving Self… and then letting the little wounded one approach, like coming to a lake and stepping into that water of Love.

You need to stay anchored in the Great One.. .and ask your higher self and angels to help you do that. Keep returning to your place as the Compassionate One and put your loving arms around the one who’s in pain. This takes practice and the more we do it the stronger and more rooted in love we will become. Then we can do it for others too (which is always easier than for oneself).

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If you have some inner parts that keep surfacing and giving you trouble. . . that you thought you healed but which keep popping up again when you least expect them. . .

… and if you’d like to experience the magic of Healing Compassion for yourself…

… go to my profile page on

There you can read about what I do and what my clients have said about our sessions…
“an amazing session…”
“what a deep experience …”
“a break-through healing event …”
“my sense of joy and hope in life came back…” and more.

AND you can get a 30% discount off your first session!

Sending you much love and wishing you the blessings of Divine Compassion!

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