Don’t Plug Your Volcano

Screen shot 2015-12-01 at 8.11.03 PMToday I am responding to the first prompt from Tracking Wonder’s Quest 2016. This prompt, from best-selling author Susan Piver, is :”What I most need to tell myself about 2016 is…”

What I most need to tell myself about 2016 is that.. anything is possible. Everything is possible.

The field is wide open and beckoning, and I am being invited to step in. It is entirely up to me. Whatever I initiate with confidence, joy, trust and generosity will unfold in perfection for the greatest good of the whole. And I will be supported in what I do, so long as I do it as an offering of Who I Am to All That Is.

I also need to tell myself that this is the year I will become the public speaker I have longed to be… and that everything will flow from that, as I step into my natural place of alignment – finally.  As I allow the energies that want to come through me to emerge, there is no limit to what powerful positive forces may be released into life – my life and Life in general.

The past few seasons have been intense, filled with challenge, as I’ve needed to learn how to create a life that works – from scratch.

I suppose my path is unusual, but I have been “protected” most of my life from having to survive on my own, to support myself, to know I could do that. This life has been made of equal parts freedom and frustration, potential and powerlessness. With the cushion of “just enough” money under me, I could always “put off” the hard things I was afraid to face. And not facing them undermined my confidence as I did not develop those muscles of competency, self-reliance, and self-trust.

Until recently … when my money ran out.

I was already in business but had what is known as a “hobby business” that cost me more than it brought in. I did this for as long as  I could get away with it, letting my fears dictate what I would or would not do.

Now, quick change of scene from relaxation to panic, from leisure to urgency. And even as the ground collapsed under me, greater clarity and conviction are calling me forward.

In this very week, as we approached December and the impending new year, I have received a clarity so dazzling and yet so obvious about what I am “really” here to do, that it has stunned me.

I say “really” because the pursuit of Purpose has consumed me for decades. So it is shocking to recognize that something hiding in clear sight has simply stood up to face me as I have felt a strong pull to do the thing I’ve always done naturally all my life, which is to speak in public from a place of presence, big picture seeing and inspiration.

What I am is not a coach, although I call myself that. It is not a healer, although I have studied and use many healing modalities to help myself and others. I am not primarily a facilitator of personal growth and discovery for individuals, though I excel at that. And I am not primarily an intuitive consultant, although I have done readings for numerous people who have been deeply inspired by them.

What I am is a public communicator. I have known this all my life. I have experienced the power and expanded energy of that role whenever I’ve stepped into it. And I have suffered from the suppression of that craving for the many years when my main platform was from the back of the room in the endless trainings I attended as a participant (“perpetual student syndrome” being a favorite way to avoid the call to be a Teacher).

I once described myself as feeling like “a plugged volcano,” so intense was the energy to express that wanted to erupt through me.

Now that I have said Yes to this inner imperative, which also matches my intense desire to inspire and uplift others, it feels like some curtain has parted. The energy feels electrically alive and the path forward feels open and unimpeded. In fact, the rocket ship feels ready to take off.

What I most need to tell myself about 2016 is that I am ready... and that in saying Yes I have already unleashed the forces needed to propel me towards the place I most belong. 


Don’t Plug Your Volcano — 14 Comments

  1. Tomar, I can feel your passion in the words you write. I am inspired by your desire to step fully into your purpose as a speaker and teacher. This is a powerful revelation to have as you approach the new year. Thank you for sharing your message about your insights.

  2. Thanks, Jeannette. It feels very vulnerable to put this out there so early in the process,and is contrary to what I would have done in the past. But I’ve chosen to follow the impulse. I’m glad you can feel it.

  3. I so enjoyed your powerful and honest posting Tomar. YOU have an amazing message that the world needs to here. Go Girl Go! I host a radio show, and I’d love to have you on it. I look forward to hearing more from you. Now is your time. This is your moment to shine.

  4. I love this! A public communicator… that strongly resonates with me as I am none of the other titles you listed. It is such a wonderful feeling to discover your purpose, and how can we fail when the Divine is supporting and guiding our calling? Beautiful!

  5. Thank you, Kim! The funny thing is, I thought I knew my calling. And some of us have more than one, of course. I’m so glad you also resonate with the term “public communicator.” Many use the term “messenger” these days and I love that too!

  6. Yes, Philippa – it seems so obvious from here. On looking back at my life I see so many points where another knot was tied in the hose that should have been open and flowing. Thank you for saying that.

  7. “What I am is a public communicator” – oh boy!
    I can resonate with all that you are ‘not’ and exactly what you ‘are’.
    I can say ‘me too’ to everything you’ve written.
    Today I had my invitation to Step Up and Step Out of the shadows.
    I hope we get to work together at some point Tomar, This Wise Woman is ready to Kick Ass and get Working.

  8. Roberta, I am thrilled to read your words. It’s great to meet a kindred spirit. Yes, maybe we can kick some ass together. I’d love to talk.

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